What's Up Miss?

Good afternoon folks!
I've been away from my screen for much longer than anticipated due to unforeseen circumstances. Circumstances that involve job hunting and general adult-life-stuff. Stuff that stresses me out.

So this week, I've had a lot on my plate. Not only have I had the appointments, I've been applying for TA jobs ready for September. No application or interview is particularly pleasant, but I have so many gaps in my CV for taking time off for hospital stays or operations- I hardly look like the most reliable applicant. I also never know how much to declare at interview. Do I play down my Diabetes and related issues or do I tell them everything? Oh by the way Mr .........., my kidneys are about to full time fail on me and therefore, I maybe here one day and gone the next. I.DON'T.THINK.SO.
Realistically, it does look like I have about a year to 1.5 years until anything is really going to happen (if things stay as they are).

I never know whether to push myself that bit harder- Maybe, by being SO busy and distracted, i'll shock my kidneys into working again as they won't have any other option. Maybe I will be one of those miracle stories in Love It! that headline- Girl With Failing Kidneys and on Transplant List Makes Full Recovery. Who knows? If I am currently doing 2 days a week at work, with a few more early nights and less socialising,  maybe 3 won't be a problem. I'll just have to be disciplined about making healthy lunches and getting enough sleep. BUT, WHO THE HELL AM I KIDDING??
I can't stay awake long enough to have one day at work and then go to the theatre in the evening. I fall asleep every time i take a bus, sit on the sofa or sit at my desk to write. How the hell am I going to manage 3-4 days a week a work? I hate doing nothing. Just the thought of 'nothing' stresses me out, but I also know that 1. I have these medical issues that don't make things straightforward or easy and 2. I totally understand that I am a big risk for an employer at this moment. However, the last few weeks, apart from the tiredness, I haven't been too bad. My weekly iron injections have now been increased, so hopefully this will improve on the tiredness, and soon enough I'll be back giving Wonder Woman a run for her money. We can keep dreaming...

I have my big Diabetes appointment tomorrow. Not seen the consultant in 5 weeks- that's a long time for me. I also have the nurse who I see weekly. I have a big decision of my outfit for tomorrow's appointment as the last 2 weeks when I have gone to the hospital, I've had various comments from both nurses and consultants about my handbag, shoes and trousers. All wanting to know where certain items were from etc. I also seem to have the same pair of Ash shoes as 2 of the docs. At least I now I'm bang on trend with the RFH crew!